Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize