The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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