Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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