I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
