Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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