I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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