There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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