Moan for me like Helen Keller
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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