I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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