Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize