At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
