I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
