i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
