I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Randomize