so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
