Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Barsexuality is the new black.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
