do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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