u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This baby is an asshole
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize