i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
