At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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