You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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