as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
