Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
