my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize