Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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