I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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