Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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