She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
