I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
