Already got asked if we're dating
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
