If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
