I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
