maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
