is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
