i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
