so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
