Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
