Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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