i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
