Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
