I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
