Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
should my penis look like a turkey
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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