yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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