Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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