I met the friendliest cop last night
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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