Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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