Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
