the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
