belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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