I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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