you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
should my penis look like a turkey
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
