hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
