We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
