Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
