i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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