This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
