i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
